Is there a mix between worry and procrastination …

Whatever it is .. I think I live wrapped in a cacoon of it. I spend so many hours thinking about all of the things that I “should” be doing. All of the things I “should” have done by now, and all of the things that I “should” be….and they’re all interesting, and lovely, and sweet, and idealistic.

None of them are wholly rational. None of them are necessarily valid for where I am in my life. Surely though, I “should” have them. Although let’s be clear .. my swanky loft apartment that I should have .. I actually should have that ..

I “should” be any number of things. I get so wrapped up in the “should” that I forget to look at the person I am. I worry. Then I lean into the worry a little more and I use it as a crutch. I procrastinate. I get distracted by the things that are not perfect in my life instead of being uplifted by the things that are amazing. The incredible friends I have who support me. A family who loves me. A life that is actually far better than I give it credit for. Life experience that .. while not always pleasant .. has turned me into the person I am today. The talent that I joke about being amazing, but really am afraid is subpar, and in reality is somewhere in between and could be better if I spent less time joking and being afraid and more time working on it.

A lot of my time is given over to the Shane that “should” be. I don’t give enough time to the person I am right now or appreciating how far I’ve come.

This week maybe I should be more mindful of doing that.

S.

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2 thoughts on “Is there a mix between worry and procrastination …

  1. You, like everyone, have a Mission. We spend our life trying to fulfill that Mission. Be very clear about your weaknesses but be just as clear about your strengths. Develop your strengths and also develop your weaknesses into strengths. Be confident and never stop learning.

    Liked by 1 person

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